They say raising A child takes a village.
To all of you raising littles without a village, I salute you.
I understand your struggles.
I understand the exhaustion.
I understand that your patience can be stretched thin…reaaaaaaal thin.
I understand how easy it is to completely lose. your. shit.
7 days a week 365 days a year you are with your kids without the option of casually swinging by your sisters house to drop the kids off so you can have an hour alone, completely stress free. Or calling your mom up because your husband is out of town and you desperately need help.
I’ve made plenty of friends who have offered to watch the kids. But calling a friend who has their own children and families to worry about makes me feel as if I’d be putting them out (even if I wasn’t). Family is different. Family is 100% guilt free. “Hey Ma…can I swing the kids by while I grocery shop”? I wish….
A date night to you and your husband is rushing to get the kids to bed by 7 on a Friday night so you can turn on a movie and maybe just maybe make it all the way through without one of you falling asleep.
If you do plan to go out and end up finding a babysitter…someone you trust with your precious little angels….a $50 date night quickly turns into a $75+ date night.
On the weekends my husband and I try to let each other get a break in. We take turns taking care of the kiddos. He usually goes fishing before the sun comes up on a Saturday. On Sunday, I usually go to the gym with my girlfriend (whom I’m not sure I’d survive without). Then I’ll usually grab a coffee and run errands.
During my time alone, I have a lot of time to think. It makes me want to call up my mom or sister to come have lunch with me or walk around a mall together. The loneliness sets in. Sometimes I don’t even like to have alone time because of the sense of emptiness it brings.
My husband goes out of town for work once in a while. Everything falls on me. This is when my anxiety rises. I become extremely stressed. Changing Diapers. Breakfast. Play time. Lunch. Naps. Cleaning. Snacks. Laundry. Dishes. Wiping more asses. More play time. Dinnertime. Baths. Bedtime. Middle of the night wakings. Sometimes I am not even sure how I survive 4 days without him, alone.
And you know…It’s not only about needing the help, wanting a break, or being desperate for a date night. Its about my children growing up surrounded by unconditional love. Having people around them who would do anything for them at the drop of a hat. Spending the night at grandma and grandpas with their cousins making special memories that will last a lifetime.
But recently I’ve learned as a parent you can’t dwell on negativity or that will reflect onto your children. You have to rise above and you have to find a way to create your own village.
I am so thankful to have met a group of women I can lean on at any given moment. Some of these women I wouldn’t survive without. This group of women encourage me, they make me be a better version of myself. They make me a better mother. They love my children like their own. And I couldn’t ask for more.